• Erin Dickson

Parenting 10,001: The Struggle is Real

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I remember once, while pregnant with my first child, a psychic said to me: “You’re gonna have to stand on a chair to discipline that one!” I thought, “What the hell does that mean? Cause it doesn’t sound good!” I really didn’t believe her, what did she know? I believe in the self-fulfilling prophecy – if you say something is true, then it’s going to be true because you live up to it. I was not falling into that trap!

Click here for a FREE workbook on how to create AWESOME behavior in children!

Fast forward 10 years, I’m looking into the red and raging eyes of my 17-year-old son, trapped in the body of a 10-year-old, screaming at the top of his lungs “I hate you!”, face twisted in rage. He stomps to his room, slams the door, and then the throwing of items commences. I remember the comment from the wise psychic…often. I need a bigger chair.

Translation: My child is spirited. He’s full of energy and raw emotion and expresses it the way I would like to sometimes but can’t because I have social standards I feel like I need to live up to. Let him feel it, he will funnel this energy into something amazing someday. I am blessed to have a child with such a voice and who’s not afraid to express himself.

I’ll never forget my dreams of pregnancy and having my own children, they began when I was only in college. I couldn’t wait to graduate, get a job, get married and have a perfect little family…or could I? I had numerous parents say things like “Are you sure you want to have kids? It’s really hard” and I remember thinking, “Who are you to tell me I can’t handle it”. Now I get it. I remember years of parenting education training I received, to better equip me to work with young moms struggling on their own and how much I thought I knew from all my “training”.

Let’s face it, if your friends aren’t parents, they don’t get it.

Yes, they can be incredibly helpful and a shoulder to cry on, but they don’t get it. I’ve been one of those “friends” before, thinking I got it and secretly thinking “my kids won’t ever behave that way”. Things that stand out to me are holiday parties with my family, in which my childless brother and his wife are dying to get out of the chaos that is my home. On those nights, I know I don’t need to burden myself with the thought that they’re going to have sex, because they’re not. My children together are the greatest form of birth control there is today. And it's free!

I have a friend and fellow Life Coach, who coined the term: “Here, take my advice, I’m not using it”. How true this is…but I wish it weren't.

It’s time I begin taking my own advice and enjoying the precious gifts that are my children, rather than feeling stressed and chaotic ALL the time. I know I'm not the only parent who feels like all I do is yell and discipline. It's time to stop feeling that way.

Parenting is hard. What I've discovered through the process is that kids teach us so much more about ourselves than we sometimes want to learn. This learning is vast and can apply to so many concepts outside of parenting.

Click here for a FREE workbook on how to create AWESOME behavior in children!

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