7 Reasons You Can't Keep Your New Year's Resolution and How to Combat Them!
Its a new year. You swear this year will be different.
You'll finally use that gym membership, that you've been paying for.
You'll finally start that business.
You'll finally find that perfect relationship.
You'll finally write that book that you've been talking about for the past 15 years.
You'll finally be happy.
12 Days in, it's all good. Then you oversleep. Or overeat. Or get too busy. Life just gets in the way. You have no time. You don't have the money. You can start next week.
You have a zillion reasons why you CAN'T make change happen. You get stuck in them and can't move forward.
It's discouraging. How can you make it stick?
Here are 7 common reasons for not meeting those goals and how to combat them!
You're not sure exactly what your goal is.
You might know that you want to be happy, but you're not quite sure how that will look. We spend a lot of time talking about the things we don't want, and not enough focusing on those things we do.
Even if you have a goal in mind, start here. Choose an area of your life to focus on (relationships, health, finances, career, spirituality, fun & leisure). Then get very clear about what you want that area of your life to look like.
If you woke up and everything in your life was perfect, what would be different?
Here's a free workbook, Live Your Life Fearless, if you need help with this!
You're not specific enough!
You might say "I want to lose weight this year".
Get specific. Exactly how will your life be different when you reach your goal weight? Will you be playing with your kids more? Feeling happier? Smiling more? Taking better care of yourself by making better food choices?
Paint the picture of what your life will look like. What will it feel like? Who will notice? How will you know people notice? What else will be different about you?
Your "why" isn't big enough.
I want to lose 15 pounds so I will fit into my pants.
I want to be successful in my business to make more money.
I want to write a book, um, just because I've always wanted to write a book.
I want to have a different career 'cause I hate my job now.
Those won't fly very far. You need a Ginormous why. You need a reason that will push you forward. Every. Single. Day.
Here's how. I snagged this from Dean Graziosi's book "Millionaire Success Habits". It's called "7 Levels Deep", it sounds strange, but hear me out. Ask yourself "why" 7 times, using your previous answer.
You can also find this in my "Live Your Life Fearless" workbook. Here's a sample questioning I did with a recent client:
Why do you want to lose 20 lbs this year?
So that I will have more energy.
Why do you want to have more energy?
So that I can play with my children.
Why do you want to play with your children?
To spend more quality time with them.
Why do you want to spend more quality time with them?
So they will know they're important.
Why do you want your children to know they're important?
So they will be confident and happy with themselves.
Why do you want your children to be confident and happy with themselves?
So that they will accomplish their dreams.
Why do you want your children to accomplish their dreams?
So that they will get the most out of their lives and contribute to others.
You see, she didn't just want to have more energy. We often stop at our first reason...but that's not enough to propel us towards our goals.
Uncover your true why, write it down and post it in a prominent place.
You don't believe it's possible.
I've never accomplished it before, what's going to be different about this year?
I don't have the time to actually sit down and write the book.
I know nothing about starting my own business, more businesses fail than succeed.
I don't have the education I need to get into the career I truly desire.
People accomplish the impossible all the time. They can only do it with the belief that it's possible. If you let all of the technicalities get in the way, like money, time, your past, or your level of education, you will never accomplish anything worth your while. You will tell yourself, "I can't" and make a zillion and one excuses and this gives you a reason to sit still, be comfortable and go on living your mundane existence.
Did I take that too far? Sorry.
Go back to your "Why". Make it possible for you. If you want it bad enough, you will.
You don't know how.
We often say something like "I really want ---, but I don't know how to get there." Confusion is another excuse to sit still.
Taking action will quickly and effectively pull you out of confusion and the steps will magically present themselves when you're ready for them. True story.
Follow the steps above, and then ask yourself, "If I believed it were possible to ---- , what is the first thing I would do?"
Here's a very common and over-used example: "If I believed it were possible to lose 20 pounds this year, what is the first thing I would do today?" Your answer could be, "I will create a calendar of the days and times I will work out and find a food log that I can use to hold myself accountable".
Once you're super-clear on your goal, the first step is quite simple.
I'll say it again...this can also be found in my workbook "Live Your Life Fearless". It's a kick-ass, comprehensive workbook, I might add.
You have no support or accountability partners.
Let's face it, your family and friends can make it or break it for you. If you let them. I think that needs to be repeated. If you let them. Sometimes they intentionally sabotage your efforts, sometimes its not intentional. The bottom line is that you are the one who makes all of the final decisions on what YOU do or don't do.
Find accountability partners. Find people who support your efforts. If you know someone is trying to sabotage you, for some reason, then don't share your goals or progress with them.
Go into a MeetUp Group. Phone a friend. There are many people out there waiting and willing to support you in all of your endeavors. I promise!
You are scared shitless.
You might not KNOW that's why you haven't accomplished your goals in the past, but fear stops us from doing a lot. We might make excuses and SAY it's a different reason, just because it's easier.
Fear can be your ally or enemy. Learn to make it your ally. Think of fear as a barometer for how big your goal is. If you don't feel scared about achieving your goal, then your goal is not big enough.
When you leave your comfort zone, that's when the magic happens. I often compare this to rock climbing. You cannot climb harder unless you're willing to take the falls. The falls are what give you courage. Are they scary? Hell Yeah! But without them, you will not climb stronger.
When you start feeling scared, it means you've stepped away from your comfort zone. Your comfort zone is where the mundane lives.
It's where the overeating quells your anxiety. Its where your favorite routines live, all those routines that make you forget you wanted change. They sneak in and do that to you. If you're living there, all comfortable, get out. Get out now.
Go research a vacation that terrifies the crap out of you, because you can't afford it. Go sign up for a college class you've always wanted to take. Go call the girl or guy, whose way out of your league. Go join a gym. Sign up for a dance class at age 60.
It's never too late to make changes. You got this.