How to Bounce Back...when someone ruins your day
Free workbook: 4 Steps to Stop Letting Others Ruin Your Day!
If you think about the last time you were angry or upset, chances are, it involved someone else. Can you imagine the time and energy you could save if only you were unaffected by the actions of others? What would it be like to actually sleep at night, rather than recite all of the things you should have said or done?
"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it". -Charles Swindoll
A while back, I noticed a Facebook Friend of mine had commented on one of my other friend’s posts and I was suddenly aware that I was no longer seeing her posts on my wall. I went to my list of friends and anxiously began typing in the letters of her name, only to see her name NOT appear.
My response was instant, butterflies entered my stomach, heat rushed to my face, and my palms began to sweat. I immediately began creating a list in my mind of all the things I could have possibly done wrong. I started talking about it with others. Wait, no, I started obsessing about it with others. Telling them the story of how I discovered it, explaining why I thought it had happened and wanting others to be just as irritated about the situation as I was. They were, of course, all on my side, sharing their stories of being victims of the famous “Facebook Un-Friend”.
I can’t remember how much time and energy was spent worrying about it, but I know now that only one minute would have been too much.
Finally, something clicked. I remembered that I had a choice.
You see, regardless of the reason other people do the things they do, YOU always have a choice as to how you respond. You can choose to give up your happiness and focus your energy instead on the toxicity of the situation, OR you can grasp the reality that you have no control over the words and actions of someone else and focus your energy, on something more positive and productive.
When you learn to let go of the perceived control you have over others in your life, you will feel an amazing sense of relief and freedom. Your time is valuable and limited. Imagine if you could take back all the hours you've spent worrying about things other people have said and done. Where would you have placed that energy?
Upon reflecting on my Facebook Un-Friend situation, here is what I discovered happened when I obsessed about it:
My anxiety level increased significantly...nothing else in my life changed. Let me repeat that, NOTHING else in my life changed.
This is where I'm going to take back my title "How to Bounce Back....when someone ruins your day".
Regardless of what other people do or say to you, you are the ONLY one who ruins your day. It is a very conscious and difficult thing to choose NOT to let others dictate how you feel. The fact remains, no one can upset you without your permission. When you allow this to happen, you are basically saying: "Here, my life is in your hands, PLEASE tell me how I should feel!"
As soon as I let go of the worry around the situation, this person "re-friended" me and is now one of my biggest fans. The Universe has a funny way of working things out.
So, how can YOU change it? In this workbook there are 4 steps that you can take. If you do this consistently,every time you become upset by the actions or words of others, you will notice the process will become a habit and eventually, you will be bullet proof.
Now, don't get me wrong, when someone crosses your boundary or betrays you in some way, that might take a bit more time. I will cover those topics in future blogs...stay tuned! Free Workbook: 4 Steps to Stop Letting Others Ruin Your Day